Conflict Management

Scenario: Your friend just doesn't get the concept of your life, and he's genuinely concerned for your saftey. You don't want to be inconsiderate, so what do you do?

http://www.livebold.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/two-guys-arguing.jpg

I just encountered the problem a few days ago, with my buddy Justin. It was over a girl whom I would refer to as Lemons, to protect her privacy to an extent, though she has a blog found here. (Disclaimer; PG 15)

Sweet, isn't she...Appearances are deceiveing

(Photo's hers)

Well first of all the both of us look out for each other, so we both need a mind at peace. Then we are both concerned about misjudgement. I'm concerned that he would think me unwise and reckless, and he that I was heading for emotional hurtsville. I was anxious about the misconception he would concieve, and he was anxious about my well being and santity.We were both concerned with each other's mindset (He misunderstood why I write to her; I failed to recognized the pretenses of his concern) and I with my pride.

So what to do?

One solution is to reason with him. If you can make him see through your eyes and mindset, then maybe he would understand. Acknowledge his concerns and fears, so he would be pacified and be assured that you are listening. Ask another friend to help you if you can't explain it exactly. Use examples that make sense to him. Guide him to how you feel. You would generally avoid trying to be aggressive, as that would antagonize him somemore.

Another solution would be to avoid it. I would generally shy away from this solution, but if this causes a great enough problem, I would consider it. I would temporarily concede and do nothing that would aggrivate him or trigger his concern. I would talk about something else and avoid the subject. As a solution, it is recomended as a last resort, as the unresolved conflict may result in more tension.

How did it go? Well, after an intense arguement in trying to execute solution one as we both failed to give in to each other, and emotion soon took over, he left and after experienceing the horrors of a jeering mob, I had a breakdown. Soon we came to accept it.

Let this be a lesson to all of you: have your fights in private, as fights (entertaining as they are) end up in the mobbing of the loser by the less mature.

STRESS...advice on it

I deal with this in a few different ways. First, I channel my emotions into poetry. For example:



Silence, my old, dear, friend
The loudest sound I will ever hear:
The universe in motion,
Groaning, moaning,
Crying out
Its pain, falling
On deaf ears



You might notice that when you read this.

 Second, I try to condition myself to save all the emotion trips to the weekends and before school, supplementing this by the special mix of coffee I drink. I don’t know how, but it just helps me let it all out.

Classic
http://lh5.ggpht.com/abramsv/SAbnpQ2pp3I/AAAAAAAAOpQ/eFOcNqbFGIY/espresso.jpg

Third, I use songs to psyche me up in the morning, such as “Martini Kiss” by Senses Fail, and “Comatose” by Skillet. Then after school, I would listen to songs I would associate with specific memories, so I wouldn’t think about them too much while doing homework, for example, I associate “You and I” By Lady Gaga with memories of Annika (crazy times...) and our sort of frenemy relationship.



I feel like this guy sometimes...
http://d.yimg.com/ec/image/v1/track/4464097;encoding=jpg;size=200;fallback=defaultImage



Fourth, I would keep a book with me, so I can escape for awhile in a different world, as someone else.

( The guy version of this)
http://quirkygirlsread.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/5161girl-reading-book-posters.jpg

Fifth, I would keep myself distracted from it, school work or otherwise, by things such as personal projects, wiki-ing random stuff (like the in game history of Halo) and games and T.V. on weekends. If a particularly strong memory comes up on the spot, I would give myself a crazy “what if situation”, like what if someone I know got pregnant and didn’t want the kid, what would I do. If all else fails, I would just let myself breakdown in a quiet place and let it all out. Then I put on the “diamond” mindset, which is, “I will endure, no matter how banged up I get, I will still be here tomorrow”. I admit that this strategy may not be the best, but the thing is, I have a universal, some might say irrational, distrust of guidance counselors and therapists.



(They're Paid to listen to you/ and smile like that!!!)
http://www.boiseweekly.com/imager/b/magnum/1876911/3ede/8days_extra1-1_GuidanceCounselor.jpg



Yeah...

Yet another letter...to all of you as well

Dear Edmund,

I understand that your uncle is dying from lung cancer. Lung cancer is, quite obviously, “cancer in the lungs”. Essentially, uncontrolled cell growth happens in the lungs, and if left untreated, it would spread to other parts of the body. It’s a real silent killer, with symptoms, such as a constant cough and coughing up blood, only showing in advanced stages, but its main cause would be smoking. Man was not made to smoke, and most cigarettes contain cancer causing substances. It’s the number one cause of cancer related deaths in the U.S. The risk of lung cancer increases with every cigarette you smoke; likewise, once you stop, the risk would significantly decrease. But even non-smokers can get it. Being exposed to second hand smoke, or smoke that comes out of the smoker’s mouth, would increase your chances of lung cancer. In essence, if you inhale second hand smoke on a regular basis, you’re no better off than a smoker! The continued exposure to smoke would blacken your lungs and deprive your blood of oxygen, as well as continuously exposing your lungs to cancerous chemicals. Then there’s the issue of smoking related diseases. Some diseases, such as emphysema, may be precursor to lung cancer. Excessive alcohol consumption, over a drink a day for women, two for men, may worsen your chances ever so slightly. There are other ways, though. Inhaling substance particles like asbestos, nickel, arsenic, and chromium would also increase your chances in obtaining lung cancer. If one is a smoker, then exposure to the aforementioned chemicals would increase your chances even more. Even if you manage to avoid that grey veil, there’s always radon gas. It’s released in the natural decomposition of most rocks and soil, and since it’s practically undetectable to the senses, you’ll need some inexpensive testing, with some inexpensive remedies. And then, there’s always the risk of obtaining the risks from parents, siblings, or even your children!

Well, the only way to prevent this disease is to stay away from all that smoke! Be conscious of your everyday environment. Observe the sidewalk, the location of your home, and workplace; do you see a lot of people smoking? How about the air quality? Also be aware of your surroundings; do you work with metals such as the above? Do everyday object you use contain any asbestos, arsenic, nickel… etc.? Does your house have a radon gas detector? Consciousness is the key.

As for your uncle, I understand your loss. He lived his life; ask yourself what he would want you to do. Death is natural, and is inevitable. Everyone meets their maker sometime in their life. I believe restraining your emotions is unhealthy; you should release them. One thing you shouldn’t do, however, is to dwell on them infinitely. Remember, you are a strong person, and even if think you’re not, you will make it through, simply steel yourself if necessary. Now, I believe everyone dies for a reason; do not let your uncle die in vain. Keep him alive in your memory, let him live on. Spread the awareness, you may save quite a few lives.



The editor, fellow Poet and Friend,

Paolo Noel Coronel La’O

Some More Healthy Eating

Bet every now and then you feel hungry between meals. Well the good news is that it’s ok to have a healthy snack! If you deprive yourself, it’s going to be harder to make a good choice come lunch or dinner. But, we can risk over eating snacks depending on our appetite for something, and risk missing out on important nutrients. So here’s the recommendation for a healthy alternative:


-Complex Carbs: Take longer to digest: a more “even” release of blood sugars, instead of the sugar rush from refined Carbs. You’ll stay full for a lot longer


-Low fat dairy: Like Complex Carbs: slower to digest, more consistent regarding blood sugar.


-Low fat protein: Protein does various things in your body, including cell maintenance and repair and blood sugar stabilization



Here’s what I recommend:

-Apple slices spread with peanut butter and sprinkled with raisins.
Complex Carbs all ‘round! They complement each other quite nicely in regards to taste. 

The Healthy "Doughnut"
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZVQCaIFMvgehvxToy5NMyrRIOcR9a8ftNoQxQ2dZQC7jG0oi8f1WwfBhLtpuGZ7_tNUmwyyMdstEevR06BfEIJWg9MoZXzgOgywyfVCwpL-HANRHJLg_uzN9m6ruhhQ45OCU9cS1pYhnH/s1600/Cooking+April+016.JPG



-Banana sliced in half and spread lightly with peanut butter.
A somewhat lighter option than the above.

The sandwich version!
http://cookingfortwoonwaterloo.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/dsc_0084.jpg

-Cheese toast (whole grain bread with low-fat cheese).
Low fat dairy and some carbs; The simplest of snacks.



http://snacktime.files.wordpress.com/2007/04/img_0069.jpg



-Turkey and low-fat cheese sandwich on whole grain bread with lettuce and tomato.
Some nice lean meat and some filling diary and carbs; for those who aren’t easily satisfied

http://images.meredith.com/fc/images/2010/07/ss_101596599_sandwich.jpg



-Trail mix (measure one serving).
Homemade or store bought- for you hiker types!

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/71/Planters-Trail-Mix.jpg/280px-Planters-Trail-Mix.jpg



The guide to good nutrition

1. Never skip a meal- you need the energy
2. Suppliments are just suppliments- Eat RIGHT
3. aim for 8 glasses of water a day- essential lubrication
4. Eat fresh foods: they contain more nutrients
5. Eat according to hunger, not appetite: your brain takes 20 minuites to process food, so you may overeat. 6. Cut the sugars; eat complex carbs: they burn slower, keep you full for longer, and cut the sugar rush.
7. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day!
8. Eat a balanced diet: no one food has it all
9. Do not neglect any sort of healthy food.
10. Do not neglect fats: we need them too, just not as much!

I know some of you haven't been eating right...

Here's something to help you eat right...

And here's what they look like:

Essential foods:

Protein: Builds/maintains muscles, bones, blood, skin and organs in the body: 4% to 8% All types of meat, dairy; soybeans:

http://thoughtpods.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/proteins.jpg

Carbohydrates: Your body’s preferred source of energy, you need them:  85% to 90%

Rice, maise, cereals, Potatos and Starchy roots

http://www.gym-trainer.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/carbohydrates.jpg

Fats: the most efficient source of energy: 1% to 5%

Oils, butter, lard and some meat products

http://mail.colonial.net/~cricket/teddy/assets/images/fats-oils.jpg

Vitamins and minerals: essential in running the body: 4% - 6%

Various fruit, beans, dark green veggies.

http://holisticdiva.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/foods-vitamin-c.jpg

Water: Were over 50% water! keeps us looking young: 8 glasses a day

http://marketingmotherhoodandmayhem.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/a-glass-of-water1.jpg

Just a Bit More Poetry

On smoking:

A grey veil,

Struck match,

Whispers in your ear:

Too fat, too bored,

Too odd

A single puff

The congratulatory cheers

Of excited peers

A racing heart,

As chemicals pour

Into your blood stream,

Ecstasy

As nicotine

Slowly wraps its fingers

Around your throat,

Growing tighter

With every puff

Another puff

Your brain screams for air

Ignored by the sensations felt

Toxins pour themselves

Into your lungs,

Turning them as black

As your mind will be

They fill with mucus

In desperation

To rid themselves of the filth

And yet another puff

Wheezing, coughing,

Dying

Air sacs

Rupturing,

Heart pounding,

Blood struggling

To move forward

Blood vessels

Bursting,

Flowing into

Brain,

Heart failing

Under strain,

Poison spreading,

Tumors come forth

And announce their dominance

Toes

Unfeeling,

Cancer, stroke,

Failure of heart

And sight

One last puff

To ease the pain

Graphic image:

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLby_RpuNQvmYSlnubCbaUaiKl3T5X0duJY8tEdUy8niQemgutIcr3X3QBaVw_c748AayOreK2vfoGMXJOMqTkUyd-jQfYD5qwbt1juXQcVW-_0o6WC3KIZEz-5eV3TA2dRDiTRUNNHXU/s1600/smokers+lungs.jpg