I deal with this in a few different ways. First, I channel my emotions into poetry. For example:
Silence, my old, dear, friend
The loudest sound I will ever hear:
The universe in motion,
Groaning, moaning,
Crying out
Its pain, falling
On deaf ears
You might notice that when you read this.
Silence, my old, dear, friend
The loudest sound I will ever hear:
The universe in motion,
Groaning, moaning,
Crying out
Its pain, falling
On deaf ears
You might notice that when you read this.
Second, I try to condition myself to save all the emotion trips to the weekends and before school, supplementing this by the special mix of coffee I drink. I don’t know how, but it just helps me let it all out.
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| Classic http://lh5.ggpht.com/abramsv/SAbnpQ2pp3I/AAAAAAAAOpQ/eFOcNqbFGIY/espresso.jpg |
Third, I use songs to psyche me up in the morning, such as “Martini Kiss” by Senses Fail, and “Comatose” by Skillet. Then after school, I would listen to songs I would associate with specific memories, so I wouldn’t think about them too much while doing homework, for example, I associate “You and I” By Lady Gaga with memories of Annika (crazy times...) and our sort of frenemy relationship.
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| I feel like this guy sometimes... http://d.yimg.com/ec/image/v1/track/4464097;encoding=jpg;size=200;fallback=defaultImage |
Fourth, I would keep a book with me, so I can escape for awhile in a different world, as someone else.
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| ( The guy version of this) http://quirkygirlsread.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/5161girl-reading-book-posters.jpg |
Fifth, I would keep myself distracted from it, school work or otherwise, by things such as personal projects, wiki-ing random stuff (like the in game history of Halo) and games and T.V. on weekends. If a particularly strong memory comes up on the spot, I would give myself a crazy “what if situation”, like what if someone I know got pregnant and didn’t want the kid, what would I do. If all else fails, I would just let myself breakdown in a quiet place and let it all out. Then I put on the “diamond” mindset, which is, “I will endure, no matter how banged up I get, I will still be here tomorrow”. I admit that this strategy may not be the best, but the thing is, I have a universal, some might say irrational, distrust of guidance counselors and therapists.
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| (They're Paid to listen to you/ and smile like that!!!) http://www.boiseweekly.com/imager/b/magnum/1876911/3ede/8days_extra1-1_GuidanceCounselor.jpg |
Yeah...
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