Nothing good ever happens at two a.m.; at least, that’s what they say about late nights in general. You shun such useless superstition, till one late night, couple of months back. You’re hard at work one night, when the phone rang. It was your good friend, and he’s calling about suicide. Your pupils dilate, your pulse starts to race. Your head is being hammered with adrenaline, you’re too far to help him; the phone link is his life line. What would you do?
I’d take him seriously, as suicide not something to mess around with. He/she could be in serious hurt, and if I took it as a joke, he might get the subliminal message that I didn’t care, and that I didn’t think that he could do it.
I would respond, concern in my voice. I’d keep as calm as possible, as not to agitate him. I would ask him what’s wrong, and let him vent out the troubles of his life, I’d do anything to keep him talking. Any sort of conversation is a good sign. I’d be sincere, but not fake. I’ve heard that if a person senses falseness in your voice, complications could arise; for example, he could get even more agitated and possibly kill himself on the spot.
I would ask him how it started, and the path from there, the complication, the climax; everything. I’d ask about what made him feel like this. I’d sympathize and try to gently guide him to the realization that his problems are temporary and that there is hope. Suicidal teens are usually suffering from problems that can be solved, socially, mentally, and physically. I’d encourage that he’d make it through, and remind him that people have gone through this and survived. That I would be there for him and that they are not alone. I’d let the person know that he/she is important to me, and I wouldn’t judge him/her. He/she is already in enough pain, why should I add to it? I’d probably send them over the edge. I wouldn’t promise secrecy, since the police might have to know. I wouldn’t lecture him, because that’s the last thing he needs; someone else on his back about his ways. Arguing is just the same; you’re showing him another person against him, someone unsympathetic. I would draw the problem out, let them talk the hours away, so his emotions can calm, and he could ask himself if he really wanted to do this.
Once, he’s brought back from the edge, I’d ask him if I could help with anything, as he would be under great mental trauma, due to the fact that he just tried to kill himself. I would be a friend and keep tabs on him, so that he would know that he would have someone to rely on and someone that he could talk to if he’s down. I would ask how I could make him feel better, not how to solve his problems. The problem doesn’t matter as much as how the problem hurts at this point. I’d stay in close contact.
But above all, if I couldn’t help, I wouldn’t blame myself. I personally can’t fix his depression problem, and I don’t have the training or certification to declare he’s cured. Therefore I can’t call the shots, and it’s beyond my control. I wouldn’t beat myself up over it, because he’s got the final say. It’s his life after all.
