A bit on dating....

I am not much of a dating guy; I’ve never had a girlfriend. But if some guy came up to me for dating advice, I would do my best:

The main question I would ask is, "Are you mature enough to handle a relationship?"; Do you really trust that you’re mature enough to control yourself and your natural impulses? Are you truly willing to sacrifice your time, and maybe some of your habits, for example smoking, for her sake? Are you willing to dedicate your special attentions and your heart to this one woman, and none else? I see dating as something akin to marriage, loyalty and trust is the key, the only difference being is that marriage entails to a lifetime agreement and children. It is often forgotten that true dating is the precursor to marriage, and if one screws around with others, or commits himself for the physical pleasures of it, may end up reflecting this in their marriage. Your anwnswer is no, refer to this Video...

If your answer is yes: Why do you wanted to date her. Some guys take after women pretty fast, and looks aren’t everything. I would define dating for you; spending time together to appreciate each other’s company while getting to know one better. No, spending half the time with his tongue in her mouth is not getting to know her better, or spending half the time staring at her. I’d ask if it was love, or infatuation. If the above regarding tongues is true, then most definitely infatuation. I would advise him to be sensitive of the new relationship; she may not be so sure. This would mean less flirting on his part, and more time with her. Communication is essential, as you would need to sacrifice time on both your parts to be together. I would tell him that he would really need to ask himself what he was willing to give up for their relationship. I would advise him not to grow complacent: relationships are mutual, and girls are not won over once and for all, but maintained. He can’t just take his future girlfriend for granted; she will turn elsewhere. He must regularly spend some meaningful time with her; even doing homework, with enough social interaction, will do. She must see that you are hers, and that you care. Conversations aren’t to be one sided; ask her about her day and how she is feeling. No girl wants to date a guy who sits there and talks at her; she wants someone who talks to her and actually listens. Another thing to consider is one’s finances; can you pay for a date? Or, at least have her understand that you’re penniless and can only bring her on a fancy date on sporadic occasions. My father once said, never fight over money with someone you love, and I find that wise on his part. No amount of money is worth your relationship, and if she doesn’t understand that, then it’s better to remain single. I suggest confessing past mistakes later on in the relationship, since she would find out sooner or later, and she would need to know the “Whole” package. You’ll lose her pretty fast if you don’t, as it may undermine her hard earned trust.

Regarding the dates themselves, I would advise moderation. Too much fanciness done not of your efforts, but with the value of money may intimidate her, while too shabby a date (unless laced with symbolism SHE can appreciate) may make her feel cheap. Moderation in emotion is also in order. I would advise him to moderate himself, adding a spike of controlled passion every now and then, as too much of something is bad, including moderation. I have devised a simple rule to the question, how far is too far: When “stuff” starts coming off and things unzipped, that’s too far. I’d say don’t even tempt yourself by going into a small room with some sort of lock. Isolation lowers inhibitions, and coupled with raging hormones, leads to something impromptu and regrettable. I would suggest staying away from alcohol, or any intoxicating substances that lower decision making, since that leads to lowered inhibitions too.